he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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