i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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