Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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