pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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