So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
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Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
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it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And then he peed in my hair
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