oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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