Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
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how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
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What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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