if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And then my night got REAL pukey
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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