Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
