i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
