Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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