:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
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You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
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Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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