once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
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I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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