I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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