I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
