i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
