"it" just moved
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's great music for shaving your balls
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.