Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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