i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
