you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
