My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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