She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
