Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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