her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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