And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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