He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work