I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.