I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...