I should be sponsored by Trojan
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
