it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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