Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
