I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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