guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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