im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
