too bad you live with your parents still
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
