Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize