I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
