I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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