exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
