I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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