just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
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We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize