I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.