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We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
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