Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.