Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?

(509): View more from Washington

Places.

(503): View more from Oregon

Plural? Please tell.

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(503): We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep? (509): Places. (503): Plural? Please tell. http://tfl.nu/23q8

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(303): View more from Colorado

We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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(303): We took shots in honor of Shark Week. http://tfl.nu/tloc

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell

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(506): Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell http://tfl.nu/5oyd

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards

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(540): I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards http://tfl.nu/0mpw

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.

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(336): i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later. http://tfl.nu/c2qt

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.

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(630): I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible. http://tfl.nu/8o92

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(+35): View more from

I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.

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(+35): I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/jeai

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(386): View more from Florida

I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking

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(386): I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking http://tfl.nu/64ym

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(910): View more from North Carolina

"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?

(770): View more from Georgia

Nope, his last birthday was.

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(910): "Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right? (770): Nope, his last birthday was. http://tfl.nu/dk94

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(240): View more from Maryland

Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire

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(240): Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire http://tfl.nu/bhj4

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(410): View more from Maryland

I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

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(410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.

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(304): Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd. http://tfl.nu/1o4y

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD

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(724): Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD http://tfl.nu/rhmm

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(631): View more from New York

I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever

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(631): I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever http://tfl.nu/7j84

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(830): View more from Texas

It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember

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(830): It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember http://tfl.nu/l1ic

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