How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.