O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.