You smell like stripper and shame
that's an acceptable place to lick
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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