9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
