pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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