There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
