Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
