i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
