i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it because I queefed?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
