on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
