Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
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Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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