btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
